you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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