we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Randomize
