i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
