How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I can't put those talents on a resume
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
