apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
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