brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
