There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
