One girl and one boy is just not enough.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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