I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
You dont lie about slip and slides
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
