I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Rumble strips road head = magical
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
