its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
