For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Randomize
