its not stalking. its research.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
