I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
