I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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