There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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