How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
