can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
This is my gift to your gina
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
