My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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