yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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