who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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