No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
He passed out mid-signature
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize