I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
