I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize