i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
