just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize