a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
