i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Randomize
