Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize
