Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
