plz talk dirty to me
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
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