I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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