I could have mohawked her pubes.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize