This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
In America we eat man semen.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
me + whiskey = a bad person
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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