i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
this is an emotional support booty call
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Randomize
