i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
