it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
ttyl tear gas
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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