I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
