I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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