I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
