but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
birth control should be required to get into college
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
