Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
