I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
