If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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