Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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