Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
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