spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
