you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
