Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Randomize
