Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
