I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
only you would photoshop your dick
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
