what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Randomize
