So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
