Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
