Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
