either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
