you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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