i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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