my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
