Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
