I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
