Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
