Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
