All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Randomize
